The Mistake
by A. Lynn the Poet
Summary: .'What have I done' he murmured. The heavens finally opened up, and it began to pour down with rain. Sirius didn't seem to care he just stood there. In the rain. Getting wet. NOT SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

Sirius leaned against a tree by the lake, eyes closed in thought. Outside it was cloudy and dark; the weather matched Sirius' mood. The 16-year-old had been quiet and alone ever since the night he had told Snape to go to the willow. His friends hadn't been talking to him...he had never seen them so mad before. James was mad because of what Sirius had done. Peter was mad because James was mad and Remus was mad because Sirius broke his promise.

Sirius was mad at himself too. He shuddered at what he had called Remus. "You worthless half-breed! I make one mistake and you blow up at me!" Sirius hadn't meant that. He was just angry...what was worse was that...had his parents been there...they would have been proud.

"God...what have I done..." he murmured." What the hell have I done...?" He sighed, and picked up a smooth stone and skipped it across the lake counting the jumps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. The heavens finally opened up, and it began to pour down with rain. Sirius didn't seem to care; he just stood there. In the rain.  
Getting wet.

"You worthless half-breed.  
I make one mistake and you blow up at me!" 

Sirius's words rang in Remus's ears as the events of the previous night raced through his mind. The fight they'd had earlier, Sirius calling him a... Remus shuddered. A half-breed... He hadn't said a word to Sirius since. He was hiding from everyone, Sirius most of all, though he knew anyone on the grounds could see him. He just didn't care. The water would do nothing to him after Sirius's betrayal. Anger and hurt had been building up inside him for so long, all of it in less than 24 hours... He walked soundlessly across the grounds, looking straight ahead. Snape, sticking his head outside, let out a cold wolf howl that drilled into Remus's skull. 'Don't turn around,' he thought to himself as he leaned against one of the trees that grew around the lake.

Sirius heard the howl and he glanced over narrowing his eyes at Snape. He then let his eyes fall on Remus. He frowned...wishing he could take everything back. His actions. His words. But he couldn't, if he could he would. He sighed and shook his head, and then with a deep breath he made his way over to his friend. Or maybe his ex-friend. What would he say? What could he say? Sorry wouldn't be enough...

"Remus…" Sirius muttered softly. As he came up to Remus. "Remus...I know it probably means nothing to you but...I'm sorry.  
He eyed the young Werewolf, wondering what he would do or say...

"Sirius, why did you do it? I could have actually killed someone, even if it was Snape," Remus said, looking at Sirius, hoping he would mistake his tears for raindrops.

"I...I wanted to destroy the one thing...the one person my parents wanted me to be." He looked away, and then looked back. "You have no idea what its like at home." He shook his head; "it's always... 'Why can't you be more like that Severus boy?' 'Why can you be like Lucius..." he closed his eyes, "I made a mistake...I'm sorry..."

"You did more than make a mistake, Sirius! You broke your promise to me and put Snape in danger, not to mention putting me in danger. You didn't want to destroy him. If you really had wanted to yourself, you'd have hexed him like you've done a million times before. You were going to let me do it for you," Remus said.

Sirius hung his head in shame. He ... he had never meant to hurt Remus, never. The words just slipped out of him, he didn't know what had possessed him.

"And no matter HOW mad you were at me for not killing Snape, you went WAY too far calling me... c-calling me... what you did.

Sirius winced, "I didn't mean to call you that..." he murmured." That was the Black talking...it wasn't me...it was the person my parents want me to be." he looked to Remus, "Please...forgive me." 

Remus just glared at him

Sirius repeated "Moony, I-I don't know what to say. I don't even know WHY I said what I did! I didn't mean it! The last thing I want to be is a clone of my parents."

Remus' grey eyes flashed dangerously "If you didn't mean it, then why did you say it? And by the way, if you call me 'Moony' anymore, I'm taking it as a personal insult." And he stalked off into the pouring rain.

Sirius gazed sadly after someone who was once one of his best friends. But ... he had others. The question was; would they forgive him? He doubted Peter would, unless James did as well. He sighed. It was worth a try.

Sirius trudged miserably up to the castle, whose twinkling windows gave a false impression of cheeriness.

He opened the doors to the Entrance Hall, and squelched his way up to Gryffindor, where he supposed the other Marauders had taken refuge from the cold. He shivered, rubbing his arms nervously. Who would he go to if no one forgave him?

He grimaced, as he realized if he was in his friends' place, he wouldn't forgive himself either.

Sirius opened the door to the Gryffindor Common Room jadedly. The three people in the room, who had been quietly conversing, stopped when he entered the room, and looked up at him. Piercing hazel eyes surveyed him disappointedly. Depressed grey eyes looked up at him. Dull brown eyes stared accusingly in his direction. Sirius' heart sunk. He knew even before he spoke to them, that he would not be forgiven. He looked dejectedly at his sodden feet, and trudged up the stairs to the Boys Dormitory.

Sirius closed the door behind him, and, not noticing that his robes were caught in the door, he continued to walk towards his bed. His robes snagged, and tore, sending him plummeting to the thin rug. He hit the ground with a thump. "Shit" he said, nursing his bruised knee. He rolled his eyes at his weakness. "Moon – Remus goes through a thousand times more the pain. Do we ever hear him complain? Nope. God, I am weak. Not just physically, but I swear, I was a hell of a bastard to say what I did." He shivered, and it was not because he was wet. "Am I becoming the sort of person my parents want me to be?" he asked the night. "Am I turning into Black Family Scum?" he didn't want to hear the answer…

Sirius heard a sharp hoot, and looked up to find the source. It was the family owl, an Eagle Owl, to be exact. It was glaring at him, clutching a letter in its beak. Sirius glared back, and it dropped the letter in his hands disdainfully, giving him a sharp peck before flying away. Sirius swore, and wiped the blood off onto his robes. He opened the letter. It read

_Sirius:_

Won flesg nivol dool bumru oyg niebot kcabo gnacu oY. Elbar esim ebotu oydet naw tsu jewdet filsil lepseht.

--The REAL Black Family.

Sirius stared at the letter. This was the second odd one he'd gotten from his "family" this week. He pulled the other one, which he had gotten the morning of his fight with Moo – Remus. It read: 

_Sirius:_

Elbar esminu oyg nikam evoltvol tsu jewmucs ynafo ecnes erpeh tniof ewsa yltca xetcal lahsu oyu oynol lepsa tup eva hew

-- The REAL Black Family.

_What on earth did it mean?_ Sirius wondered perplexedly. The last people he wanted to hear from were his parents, why had he acted as though he was channeling them for the past few days?

He threw himself upon his bed, exhausted from the emotional strain of fighting with his best friends, and fell into a restless, fretful sleep.

_Sirius…" Her soft voice called him. He blinked. Eyes of pure silver gazed back at him. Those eyes…weren't human. He opened his mouth to speak, but found he couldn't. He tried to move, but he could not budge. He could only gaze at the silver eyes that were so calm and soothing and that were trying to tell him something. But what? "Sirius…" the voice called again; sounding echo-y and musical, yet hollow. "You need to know the truth, and I will tell you. Your brother, Regulus."_

_Regulus. Sirius thought bitterly. How he hated his brother. Perfect little Regulus. And how his brother hated him. "He--"the voice continued. Yes? Sirius thought eagerly. This was important. He knew it._

"_And he makes it! Yes! The Chudley Cannons score, winning their 12th game this season, and what a season it's been!" Sirius blinked. What?_

It was his magical alarm, set to Wizarding Wireless Network – the Quidditch station, to be precise. He sat up in bed, moaning and rubbing his head. It had been a dream. Just a dream. But the world to which he lived right now was a nightmarish reality. And there was no waking up.

Remus Lupin woke up, eyes blinking in the brilliant light. He had fallen asleep in the armchair by the fire. He checked his watch, and jumped. Classes started in 5 minutes! He scrambled out of the chair, and then realized that it was a Sunday. As he collected his parchment, last night's events came flooding back to him in a terrible mess. He still couldn't believe what Sirius had done. Were the teachings of his parents finally rubbing off on him? _Perhaps he really does belong in Slytherin, _he thought dryly. Remus immediately felt sickened with himself. _He – he's a good person at heart. _He thought frantically. _I know it._ _He … just made a mistake. I don't know what it will take for me to forgive him, or if I ever will._

He saw Sirius emerge from the dormitory with bags under his eyes, looking shaken. He did not appear to see Remus, and if he did, he did not show it. _He really feels badly about this,_ thought Remus,_ Maybe I should forgive him. He lost his temper. We all do, sometimes. Well, that settles it. James and Sirius can be attention-seeking, rule-breaking gits at times, but they're my best mates, and they did for me what no one else would do. I have them to thank that my transformations aren't as brutal as they were. I can't hold a grudge forever. _And so it was decided. He would tell Sirius he was forgiven at breakfast_. I know Sirius will never be like his parents,_ he thought,_ or his prat of a brother. _

_And it served him right, thought the boy darkly. Always parading around with his friends, hexing everyone in sight. Disrespecting the Pureblood Way. The Family Way. This will put him in his place. He placed the piece of parchment in the beak of the owl, and it flew away. He smirked. If they were close to forgiving Sirius Black, well, that was about to change._


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius sat down to eat at the Gryffindor table alone. He did not see Regulus smirking at him from across the Great Hall, seated at the Slytherin table. He sighed, and tucked into his porridge, his long hair flopping in his face.

Remus sat down with James and Peter, lost in thought. He saw Sirius sitting by himself, and was about to walk over and tell him he was forgiven, but was distracted by the daily swooping of owls. Sirius, having finished his breakfast in a matter. Remus sighed. He would talk to Sirius in Charms, which was right after breakfast.

"Hey, Moony," James called. "Moony! Snap out of it, mate. You've got a letter."

"So do you, Prongs," Peter called.

"Right then. Wonder who these are from?"

"Probably detention notes from Dumbledore,"

"Yeah, but if that's so, I don't care. That prank on Snivelly was worth it."

"Definitely."

"Nothing's worth getting detention for, guys."

"Yes Mr. Prefect, SIR!"

"Right. Let's just open our letters."

"Hey, bet mine's a love letter from Evans!"  
"Doubt it, Prongs."

"Oh well, a bloke can dream…"

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three!" and they opened their letters.

Remus scanned his quickly, and felt dizzy with anger and hurt. "Who would write such a thing?" he whispered.

_Mr. Lupin –_

_It has come to our attention that you are, in fact, a werewolf. And therefore, unfit to attend a fine institution such as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No one wants to be in the presence of such a foul creature, your friends included. The Ministry requests that you pack your bags, and be ready to take the train home tonight. You won't be coming back._

_You can thank your young friend Sirius Black for bringing this matter to our attention; he has done a service to you and the school._

_Sincerely._

_Dolores Jane Umbridge_

"Sirius." Remus growled his face growing dark with pain and shock. He was to leave Hogwarts forever. And he had Sirius to blame.

**A/N: No, Sirius is not evil. He is too awesome to make evil. He does not want to do what he is doing. There is a plot twist, but of course I'm not telling you what ;-)**

_**To all my reviewers: Thank you so much for your kind words, and for taking the time to write a review. I wrote this story about a year ago, and posted it on another ff site with no intention of continuing it, but on a whim decided to post it on and your enthusiasm has inspired me to continue it. So thank you for that :-)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Thanks to all of you who reviewed. This is dedicated to Cassie.**

Remus stormed into the dorm room, slamming his school books into his trunk. Sirius sat on his bed, reading a comic book, James was staring into space, most likely fantasizing about Lily, and Peter was polishing his wand. The trio looked up to find the source of the noise.

"What's wrong, Moony?" James asked concernedly, snapping out of his reverie

"Sirius." Remus growled, slamming the lid of his trunk closed.

"Still mad?" Peter asked sympathetically.

"Well, I _was_ about to forgive him--" Remus began angrily, but was cut off by Sirius.

"Look, Moo—Remus. I told you, I really do regret what I did, I don't know what I was thinking – I – I _wasn't_ thinking. I am sorry, truly, and I hope you _will_ forgive me."

"Oh, you're sorry, are you?" Remus snarled. "Then explain _this_!" He threw the letter at Sirius, and picked his trunk off the ground.

"Hey, why are you packing?" James asked, sitting up and turning to face him.

"Ask Sirius." Remus said bitterly, and left the dorm, leaving a stunned silence in his wake.

Sirius dropped the letter in shock. "I've never spoken to that woman in my life," he whispered.

James picked up the letter, and looked appalled. "Sirius – how could you do such a thing? Hogwarts means everything to Remus! You know that."

"James! Peter!" Sirius said frantically. "I swear, I never spoke to that woman! In fact," – he squinted at the letter – "That doesn't even look like a woman's handwriting!"

"You're right," said James grudgingly. "It doesn't."

"Wait a minute… it looks kind of familiar, actually. I think I know whose it is."

James and Peter looked at Sirius questioningly, their feud momentarily forgotten.

"Who wrote it?" James urged him.

A look of dawning comprehension spread across Sirius' face.

"Well?"

"Regulus." He said simply.


End file.
